Loki and Cards Against Humanity Divination

The night before: three of us sat down to play “Cards Against Humanity” with Loki as our “Rando Cardrissian” fourth (as per the CAH rule book). Loki ended up winning 21 rounds (but came in second). I set his winning cards aside, to laugh about them later. Then I went to bed.

As many people know, CAH calls itself “the party game for horrible people.” But this was the first time I’d played with my fave trickster. In the past, my (adult) kids and I would just blow up a balloon or a condom, drew a face on it, tape it to a chair and call it “Rando,” drawing Rando’s cards at random, just like the rule book says. But playing the game with Loki was decidedly a “leveling up” or at least a “leveling sideways.”

LokiDivinationCAHThe next morning, in moment of near-fatal whimsy, I decided to invoke my trickster god and do a Celtic Cross divination shuffling the 21 cards that he’d won the night before. The reading, which I hoped would shed light on a troubling group situation, is weirdly appropriate…

Signifier (drawn at random): “Profoundly handicapped.” (Me: Well, Multiple Chemical Sensitivity HAS disrupted every aspect of my life…)

1. What covers me: “A micropig wearing a tiny raincoat and booties.” (Me: better that than roaches.)

2. What opposes me: “Men.” (Me: ‘Nuff said.)

3. What crowns me, the best I can arrive at: “Frolicking.” (Me: I’ll take it!)

4. What is beneath me, what I have to work with: “The wrath of Vladimir Putin.”
(Me: Shucks. The Wrath of Khan would have been more fun…but, whatever!)

5. What is behind me, the influence that is passing away: “Gandhi.” (Me: With a patron deity like Loki, I suppose this is understandable.)

6. What is before me: “Harry Potter erotica.” (Me: I can hardly wait. Dibs on Snape.)

7. Me in the future: “A man on the brink of orgasm.” (Me: Will I find him on Fetlife?)

8. My environment in the future: “White-man scalps.” (Me: Could have an influence on public policy in this country. What say all of you?)

9. Hopes and fears: “The Pope.” (Me: Definitely a fear.)

10. What will come: “Getting naked and watching Nickelodean.” (Me: Netflix is more likely, but whatever. Guess that’ll be my Wednesday nights then…)

“Frolicking.”

Indeed.

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