Whoa, UNhappy Birthing Day…

For the record, as a parent I have never:

Disparaged my children’s choices of partner, appearance, interests, reading matter, media consumption, diet, etc.

Disparaged or objected to my children’s genders, cis or trans.

Been an embarrassing drunk in front of them or their friends (I don’t drink anyway).

Forced them to go hungry or wear dirty clothes, or otherwise lack the resources for health and hygiene.

Tried to seduce my children’s lovers.

Refused to provide books, art supplies, toys, musical instruments, and a range of outside activities when requested.

Pushed my children to be something they weren’t.

Been verbally, physically, or sexually abusive or deliberately harmful in any way.

Not stood up for them if I was aware of something that needed my intervention.

And so forth.

As a parent, I have sometimes been:

Over-enthusiastic or not enthusiastic enough.

Extremely creative.

A willing reader and teller of bedtime stories.

Social awkward.


Depressed, suicidal, and exhausted.

Disabled and in need of accommodation.

Old and getting older.


Involved in my own life and self, perhaps overmuch.

In the grip of transformative processes that defied logic.

In love with someone other than my children’s father.

Sometimes intimidated by the anger of adolescence.

Angry and reactive, but not to excess.

All too human.

As a parent, I was always loving and supportive, kind and generous.

As a parent I would have never imagined:

That not being perfect as a parent would result in being ghosted for several months and then told, via a public blog, that my oldest child (an adult) never wants to see or hear from me again.

Essentially, I’ve done nothing reprehensible as a parent or as a human being, to deserve such treatment.

This lack of courage and courtesy, on his part, is somewhat mind-boggling and deeply hurtful. And it’s so very entitled. His accusations of constant “damage” are something that I cannot understand or address, as they ARE left vague and his readers are left to assume the worst. I feel besmirched and wrongfully accused.

Emotional matricide and erasure. Whee.

“Oh sharper than a serpent’s tooth…”

‘Nuff said.


4 thoughts on “Whoa, UNhappy Birthing Day…

  1. Dear one, I am so sorry to read that your offspring has been so unpleasant (can you tell I’m a Brit? Massive understatement…)
    Nothing I can say will mitigate their unkindness but I wanted to say you are most unlikely to actually have been responsible for their ‘stuff’.
    Kind thoughts and blessings on you,


  2. There are not words enough to understand your pain, nor any to make it okay.
    Just feel my heart is with you and I hope they resolve their crap and give you some healing.


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