A New Game for Lokeans

First, select a piece of music. Play it for Loki. I tried this piece, as I was feeling slightly maudlin (I hate maudlin!). Then…

…Then you go to Inspirobot.me and ask “Mr. Lokibot” to comment on the song. This was what I got in response, no kidding!

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After twenty minutes of laughing like a loon, I tried this song.

This was the response (below). Really, Loki, irony? Are you telling me you want something more au courant? 

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Okay… this next selection delivers a wee bit of irony from me to you, my ecotoplasmic darling Mr. Lokibot… You want au courant? I give you POPPY! (Last year’s song, but even so…)

Uh. I guess Loki hates maudlin too…

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I think I’m a gonna quit while I’m ahead…

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Lokasenna Time!

Loki_taunts_Bragi

The Columnist shook his credentials and raised an outcry against Loki. There was a “Wild” ruckus in the Comments section, so Loki found the Editor without. Loki greeted him and said:

1] “Say thou, Editor,     nor before set thou

One foot forward:

What the Columnists speak of,     at their laptops sitting,

the website here within.”

Editor said:

2] “Of their credentials speak,     and of lofty deeds,

the glorious Pundits,

Of neopagan readers     who click their bait

not one speaks well of thee.”

Loki said:

3] “In I shall, though,     into the Hunter’s Hall—

fain would I hear their boasts;

brawls and bickering      I bring the goods,

their typos I shall mix with truth.”

Editor said:

4] “If thou goest     into the Hunter’s Hall,

and fain would’st hear their boasts;

if hate and mocking     they heap upon you,

be sure to Twitter me.”

Loki said:

5] If with words we war,     I and your Pundits,

then full well thou wotst,

Editor, that I    will uppermost be,

if foul of me thou fallest.”

Then went Loki within the hall, but when they who were there saw who had come in, the Pundits all were hushed.

Loki said:

6] “Thirsty cometh     to the Hunter’s Hall,

burdened with glorious purpose,

To ask the Pundits     if that anyone

would pour him the mellow mead.”

7] “Why are ye closed,     in your comments section,

Allow me not to have a word?

A space on your Disqus     in your weblog give me,

or else unleash my bloggers!”

Pundit said:

8] A seat on the bench,     our banquet to share,

will this Pundit not ever give thee;

for well I wot     what Pagans at the feast

it behooves me to have.”

Loki said:

9] “Art mindful, Pundit,     how in olden days we

watched thy strain at interfaith dialogue?

Thou doest much better     amongst Ancient Astronaut

Theorists opining on alien craft.”

Pundit said:

10] “Arise then colleagues,     let the Wolf’s father

be benched at our banquet;

lest that Loki     demand a retraction

in the Hunter’s Hall.”

Then arose the Pundit and snatched a laptop away from Loki.

But before he sat, Loki hailed the Columnists:

11] “Hail to you, Pundits,      hail, Columnists,

Hail to all would-be bloggers,

but to one Pundit only,      who with you sits,

Serves grevious slander to my name.”

Pundit said:

12] “My byline art most precious,     I beseech thee, Loki,

Call off thy bitter bloggers,

Lest to pagan hosts     my wits show slowest:

beware my trump comparisons!”

Loki said:

13] “Of trump comparisons    small store, ween I,

hast, Pundit, thou to boast!

Of all the pundits     within this hall

thou are most inclined to make

assertions with no merit.”

Pundit said:

14] If without I were—     as within I am—

Hunter’s hallowed hall:

in my hands would I have     thy rep full soon

for your crimes are as of trump.”

Loki said:

15] “Thou are swift to cry trump,     but slow to examine,

Pundit, thou spurious claims;

I offer critique,     if bold thou art;

not a whit would a brave brain stay.”

A Reader said:

16] “I beg thee, Pundit,      to bear in mind

That of Odin’s kin he is:

Diss not Loki     with taunting words

in Hunter’s weblog hall.”

Loki said:

17] Right on, Reader:     of neopagans

this oft contentious lot,

rains foul words     and fouler deeds,

upon my mortal friends.”

Reader said:

18] “I tease not Loki     with taunting words

in Hunter’s weblog hall;

I but soothe Pundit     with theories crazed

lest Lokeans go to battle.”

Editor said:

19] “Ye Bloggers all     within this hall

why do ye war with words?

We knoweth well     the drag this is,

let’s love all merry things!”

Loki said:

20] “Right on, Editor     I have in mind

the way to make amends

For weregild take     the apology make

and Loki hate forswear.”

And from that day forth, all were welcome in the hall. 


Based on the “Lokasenna,” The Poetic Edda, translated by Lee M. Hollander.


Please also check out these thoughtful rebuttals:

Dagulf Loptson, Loki and Trump: My Thoughts

Kyaza, Analysis of Seigfried’s Comparison of Loki and Trump

Sonya Odinsdottir, Rebuttal to Article: Loki in the White House

Sarenth Odinson, Loki is Not Trump (Neither is Odin)


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More from “Mister Lokibot”

Just for fun, I sometimes ask “Mister Lokibot” to speak to me via Inspirobot, “an artificial intelligence dedicated to generating unlimited amounts of unique inspirational quotes for endless enrichment of pointless human existence.” (And don’t miss Inspirobot’s “mindfulness mode.” Hilarious!)

This is what I got today, after having written a very long, insightful-but-not-entirely-pleasant critique of a former lover’s professional website. (His business had fallen off and my advice was meant to be helpful.)

And, FYI, when I say “former” I mean from decades ago.

So to the thought below, I add the words “with surgical precision.”

Gosh, Thanks Mister Lokibot!”

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What Came First? The Magic or the Book?

1-dire_francesco_del_cossa_010As I’ve written elsewhere, I’ve had a lifelong interest in the occult and some very odd experiences too, but I didn’t start studying Western magic and witchcraft until I started writing this fantasy novel on Nov. 1, 2016. The plot required my characters to learn from Western magical traditions and so I figured I had to research this as well. What I didn’t realize was that this study would prove as important and life-changing as any of my other major epiphanies (and I’ve had a few).

The Dire Deeds of the Guild of Ornamental Hermits, now completed, is many things to me. It was my salvation during a very difficult time of loneliness and social anxiety. It was my way of creating community (though imaginary) in the aftermath of a divorce, in a time and place where friendships and family were proving unreliable. And it was my love letter and good-bye to Hawai’i nei (beloved Hawai’i). Dire Deeds is also my social commentary on forms of settler-colonialism peculiar to the Puna District (Hawai’i Island’s “Lower East Side”). Other themes include aging, LGBTQIA etc. struggles, white privilege, and more. But this description makes the book sound far too serious. I assure you, the “tone” is often playful, comic, and sweetly sardonic, even though these topics–and events in the book–are “dire.”

Best_small_ Buffalmacco,_trionfo_della_morte,_eremiti_02 copyNow I begin the second book in what will be a trilogy: The Witching Work of the Guild of Ornamental Hermits. Spoiler alert – it takes place in Lake County, California, where I now live. All the previous characters will continue in this second volume, and a few new ones will be added–notably the charismatic “drifter,” Lucky LaFey.

The third book will take place in England, and will be called The Perilous Past of the Guild of Ornamental Hermits.

National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) was the vehicle for jumpstarting and continuing Dire Deeds, and I am going to begin The Witching Work during this year’s NaNoWriMo contest, which starts (as always) on Nov. 1st (my birthday). I expect to have no problem achieving the 50,000 word count which is the goal of the contest. Even so, please wish me luck. And it would please me too if you went to my book website and read some of the excerpts and blog posts.

Thank you!

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Leaving it Right Here

Infinite Donut

Hail Flame Hair, Consumer of Modern Desserts!

Grant us your alchemy of dough and desire,

Sprinkle us with blessings even as this donut is adorned

With multi-colored sugary goodness.

Dip us in the sweet heat of the moment,

Allow us to savor life even as you savor this goodie.

Hail Silver Tongue, may this edible monstrosity grace your tastebuds,

May it provide complete satiation for your infinite appetites.

Please accept this crisp and creamy offering as a token of our devotion.

Hail Loki!

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