Loki: Proving the Poison

The fragrance industry, known to be irresponsible, has dared to name a toxic fragrance after Loki, a deity whose lore includes a horrific story of his sufferings from poison. Apparently independent perfumers on Etsy are following suit. Sigh… As a Lokean and as a person with environmental illness, I’m thoroughly appalled. My UPG? Loki, the arch foe of hypocrisy, would not be a fan of any of this.

Loki's Torment

For an ecological and spiritual take on this, see My Gods Are Fragrance Free.

And if you’re not convinced that fragrance chemicals equal poison, here’s some science. These are just a few of the studies and articles out there.


Fragrance and Essential Oil Toxicity: Recent Articles and Studies

List Under Construction. Check back often for new articles and studies. 


Early Articles, Information

Wallace, L., W. Nelson, E. Pellizzari, J. Raymer, AND K. Thomas. Identification of polar volatile organic compounds in consumer products and common microenvironments. U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, Washington, D.C., EPA/600/D-91/074 (NTIS PB91182865), 1991.

Wallace, L. Human exposure to volatile organic pollutants: Implications for indoor air studiesAnnual Review of Energy and the Environment, 2001 26:1, 269-301

Kendall, J. Health Risks from Perfume: The Most Common Chemicals Found in Thirty-One Fragrance Products by a 1991 EPA Study. 1995. [Flyer based on Wallace, L. 1991 EPA study above and material safety data sheets.]

Wilcox, P.P. Addendum to Julia Kendall’s flyer, above. 1995.


More Recent Studies

Steinemann, AC. National Prevalence and Effects of Multiple Chemical Sensitivities. Journal of Environmental and Occupational Medicine, Feb. 16, 2018. doi: 10.1097/JOM.0000000000001272

[Quote from abstract] “Results: Among the population, 12.8% report medically diagnosed MCS and 25.9% report chemical sensitivity. Of those with MCS, 86.2% experience health problems, such as migraine headaches, when exposed to fragranced consumer products; 71.0% are asthmatic; 70.3% cannot access places that use fragranced products such as air fresheners; and 60.7% lost workdays or a job in the past year due to fragranced products in the workplace.” 

Steinemann AC, et al. Fragranced consumer products: Chemicals emitted, ingredients unlisted. Environmental Impact Assessment Review, 2010. doi:10.1016/j.eiar.2010.08.002

Steinemann, A.C. Fragranced consumer products and undisclosed ingredients. Environmental Impact Assessment Review 29(1):32-38 · January 2009.
doi: 10.1016/j.eiar.2008.05.002

[Quote from Abstract]  “Fragranced consumer products—such as air fresheners, laundry supplies, personal care products, and cleaners—are widely used in homes, businesses, institutions, and public places. While prevalent, these products can contain chemicals that are not disclosed to the public through product labels or material safety data sheets (MSDSs). What are some of these chemicals and what limits their disclosure? This article investigates these questions, and brings new pieces of evidence to the science, health, and policy puzzle. Results from a regulatory analysis, coupled with a chemical analysis of six best-selling products (three air fresheners and three laundry supplies), provide several findings. First, no law in the U.S. requires disclosure of all chemical ingredients in consumer products or in fragrances. Second, in these six products, nearly 100 volatile organic compounds (VOCs) were identified, but none of the VOCs were listed on any product label, and one was listed on one MSDS. Third, of these identified VOCs, ten are regulated as toxic or hazardous under federal laws, with three (acetaldehyde, chloromethane, and 1,4-dioxane) classified as Hazardous Air Pollutants (HAPs). Results point to a need for improved understanding of product constituents and mechanisms between exposures and effects.”


Public Health Advocacy Reports

Chemicals of Concern: Fragrance. Campaign for Safe Cosmetics.[Long list of study references at end of article.]

Not Too Pretty–Phthalates, Beauty Products& the FDA. Environmental Working Group. July 8, 2002. [Long list of study references at the end of article. Download PDF of entire report.]


General Articles

The Addictive Power of Toxic Perfumes and Colognes, John P. Thomas, Health Impact News, May 29, 2019.

The article above references the 1991 L. Wallace/EPA study. The 1995 Julia Kendall handout based on the Wallace/EPA study names the narcotic chemicals commonly added to fragrance ingredients:

(1) ETHYL ACETATE (in: after shave, cologne, perfume, shampoo, nail color, nail enamel remover, fabric softener, dishwashing liquid) – Narcotic. On EPA Hazardous Waste list; “…irritating to the eyes and respiratory tract” …”may cause headache and narcosis (stupor)” …”defatting effect on skin and may cause drying and cracking” …”may cause anemia with leukocytosis and damage to liver and kidneys” “Wash thoroughly after handling.”

(2) LINALOOL
(in: perfume, cologne, bar soap, shampoo, hand lotion, nail enamel remover, hairspray, laundry detergent, dishwashing liquid, Vaseline lotion, air fresheners, bleach powder, fabric softener, shaving cream, after shave, solid deodorant) – Narcotic. …”respiratory disturbances” … “Attracts bees.” “In animal tests: ataxic gait, reduced spontaneous motor activity and depression … development of respiratory disturbances leading to death.” …”depressed frog-heart activity.” Causes CNS disorder.

Scent of Danger: Are There Toxic Ingredients in Perfumes and Colognes? n/d. Scientific American. 

New Data Reveals One-Third of All Fragrance Chemicals Linked to Human, Environmental Harm. Women’s Voices for the Earth. Sept. 26, 2018. [Press Release.]

Is your perfume making you ill? Science finds growing evidence that the scents in chemicals and cleaning sprays are causing cancer, headaches, and harming unborn babies. DailyMail, 2/22/18.

Meyer, R. The Air Pollutants in Your Medicine Cabinet. Atlantic Monthly, Feb. 21, 2018.

More to come.

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Loki and Cards Against Humanity Divination

The night before: three of us sat down to play “Cards Against Humanity” with Loki as our “Rando Cardrissian” fourth (as per the CAH rule book). Loki ended up winning 21 rounds (but came in second). I set his winning cards aside, to laugh about them later. Then I went to bed.

As many people know, CAH calls itself “the party game for horrible people.” But this was the first time I’d played with my fave trickster. In the past, my (adult) kids and I would just blow up a balloon or a condom, drew a face on it, tape it to a chair and call it “Rando,” drawing Rando’s cards at random, just like the rule book says. But playing the game with Loki was decidedly a “leveling up” or at least a “leveling sideways.”

LokiDivinationCAHThe next morning, in moment of near-fatal whimsy, I decided to invoke my trickster god and do a Celtic Cross divination shuffling the 21 cards that he’d won the night before. The reading, which I hoped would shed light on a troubling group situation, is weirdly appropriate…

Signifier (drawn at random): “Profoundly handicapped.” (Me: Well, Multiple Chemical Sensitivity HAS disrupted every aspect of my life…)

1. What covers me: “A micropig wearing a tiny raincoat and booties.” (Me: better that than roaches.)

2. What opposes me: “Men.” (Me: ‘Nuff said.)

3. What crowns me, the best I can arrive at: “Frolicking.” (Me: I’ll take it!)

4. What is beneath me, what I have to work with: “The wrath of Vladimir Putin.”
(Me: Shucks. The Wrath of Khan would have been more fun…but, whatever!)

5. What is behind me, the influence that is passing away: “Gandhi.” (Me: With a patron deity like Loki, I suppose this is understandable.)

6. What is before me: “Harry Potter erotica.” (Me: I can hardly wait. Dibs on Snape.)

7. Me in the future: “A man on the brink of orgasm.” (Me: Will I find him on Fetlife?)

8. My environment in the future: “White-man scalps.” (Me: Could have an influence on public policy in this country. What say all of you?)

9. Hopes and fears: “The Pope.” (Me: Definitely a fear.)

10. What will come: “Getting naked and watching Nickelodean.” (Me: Netflix is more likely, but whatever. Guess that’ll be my Wednesday nights then…)

“Frolicking.”

Indeed.

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LokiFest CA Moving Forward

UNDER CONSTRUCTION LokiFestGood news! We have provisional approval from the Lakeport City Council to hold the public portion of LokiFest in Library Park, Lakeport CA, on August 10th! I have to jump through a few more bureaucratic hoops, but it’s probably going to be okay.

I’m also working on setting up the online portion via zoom.us either day before or perhaps the Sunday after.

There will aso be a private Lokean/pagan gathering for rituals, presentations, and community discussion on August 9th. Email me at feypride at yahoo.com if you are interested.

The event is timed to roughly coincide with (1) the rising of Lokabreanna (Sirius) and the “dog days of summer” and (2) the release of Loki’s Torch anthology. The submission period for this publication is just about over–ends May 31st.

Sub Flyer Loki's Torch Cover 2.

 

Animism and Objectum Sexuality

This last weekend’s full moon in Scorpio was one heck of a wild ride. Between deeply grieving over my deceased temple cat and attending Saturday’s sunrise ceremony to honor ancestors of the local Pomo community who were killed in the 1850 massacre, it was already pretty intense. Then I got the news that Australia’s Channel 7 “Sunday Night” was finally going to air their segment on objectum sexuality.


Objectum sexuality is an affectionate, romantic, and/or sexual orientation involving emotional and physical intimacy with beloved objects as partners. This is far beyond using sex toys or having a fetish.


As a sexologist, I was interviewed by the “Sunday Night” crew back in February. I had been wondering when the segment would air so news of the broadcast cheered my weekend. Unfortunately, I still haven’t got a link to the show that works for me here in the U.S. so I have no idea if my lipstick was on straight or–more importantly–if I made much sense.

Now I’m trying process this latest episode in my on-again, off-again “fifteen minutes of fame.” And what comes up for me is this: I’ve written several times about the sexological aspect of objectum sexuality (read my 2009 study here) but I haven’t written about it from an animist (and mystic) perspective.

First let’s talk about animism: the idea of ensouled and conscious matter. Animism is fundamental to many forms of magic. After all, why bother with magical practices if we don’t believe that the objects and spirits we wish to influence will understand and respond to us?

Science now validates this ancient concept, asserting that consciousness appears to be an intrinsic quality of matter. (Here’s a link to a PBS/Nova article on these new findings. It’s possible to find many more.) But for many Westerners, even a scientific validation of consciousness-infused matter will be tough to accept. Westerners are so used to thinking of “things” as inert receptors that we seldom entertain a notion of mutual relationships with “non-living” sentient matter.  However, it’s interesting that we’re now seeing such things as legal recognition of the personhood of rivers. May this trend continue, including recognition of our planet as a legal person!

Enter the phenomena of objectum sexuality. But I want to start first with people who actually do detect personalities in various objects. This is known as object personification synesthesia. You can read an entire case study here. In 2009 I proposed object personification synesthesia as a possible explanation or component of objectum sexuality. But this is a hypothesis at present. We need a proper study to confirm or deny causality or correlation. We need to find out if any of the various forms of synesthesia are found among any or many OS people, and if so, is object personification synesthesia one of them? And if that is so, does it have an impact on their partner preferences and erotic desires or is some other factor at play?

It’s an interesting hypothesis, since people with object beloveds feel quite natural about this part of their lives. In the documentary Animism (below), Erika Eiffel said she feels “wired” for these kinds of relationships. When I conducted my 2009 survey with a small number of OS people, their accounts of their relationships, emotions, and “ups and downs” were pretty much what you’d expect from anyone in an intimate relationship. A few people did report instances of trauma and a few had mental health conditions, but these did not appear to cause OS. For some, the recognition of object attraction predated a trauma or condition. Given all that, why not investigate object personification synesthesia, since it is already acknowledged in scientific literature, and see if it helps to explain why objectum sexuals so often describe their attraction to the personalities of their beloved objects? Somebody fund something, please!

Veering back to the connection with animism, many OS people identify as animists. I mentioned the documentary called Animism: People Who Love Objects. Here’s the trailer. (I found it on Netflix several months ago. It might still be there.)

While OS people offer love to their object partners, magical practitioners partner with  objects by charging them with ritual significance, power, tasks, or thought forms. Animism is why we hug trees or pray to the sun and moon, why we bless the food we eat or the car we drive. It just doesn’t make sense to me that these are vestigal superstitions, only “myths to live by” which serve no practical purpose. I’d rather explore the common sense benefits of this outlook and to cultivate awareness and good manners along with my magic skills.

More speculatively, does the existence of object personification synesthesia mean that some human beings are gifted with a natural ability to sense forms of non-living consciousness (beyond just having their senses “cross wired”)? Did our ancestors develop rituals to reach non-living beings, based on the perceptions or directions of synesthete shaman? Why have people throughout time and in every culture taken such pains to develop rituals and practices to contact beings (both invisible and non-living)? Why so much work if none of this is real?

Scientific proof of animism will be resisted in capitalist consumer cultures until enough humans have contact with non-living but sentient material beings (and post about it on social media…LOL). “Artificial intelligences” may reveal profound and surprising discoveries, drawing upon not just their programmed capacities for learning, but also from their own innate material sentience. And the relationships of those outliers currently known as objectum sexuals will begin to make more sense to more people. When we reach these tipping points, profound changes are inevitable.

Of course, we have a long way to go. There are numerous cruel people in the world who can’t even accept the personhood and rights of other humans and other living beings. Such people aren’t likely to care about the rights and personhood of a river or a chair. In fact, they’ll probably take extra pleasure in destroying objects when they hear that a “thing” could experience some of what living creatures feel and think. The rest of us will develop rites and rituals for communicating and engaging with non-living sentient beings, from the pill in a medicine bottle to an old car that would rather not be junked.  We’ll need to find ways to ask permission and gain consent, cut deals and negotiate courses of action, to forgive or ask forgiveness, to release, transform and transmute…

Oh wait, we’ve already got lots of that stuff lying around! To paraphrase Andy Warhol, in the future we’ll all have fifteen minutes of magic. And marriages to a bridge or car will become just another thing that some people do. No big deal–only awkward when the china pattern IS the groom.

[P.S. in case you’re interested, here’s a fascinating general article about synesthesia and sex–published in the Smithsonian so probably “safe for work”.]

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Sunrise Ceremony

Something unseen prodded me awake at 4:11 this morning. I wasn’t going to argue. So off I went after feeding the cats, to a ceremony of forgiveness, honoring the Pomo women, children, and elders who’d been massacred at Badon-napoti (“Old Island’), later known as “Bloody Island.” This was the 20th year of this event, organized and hosted by the descendents of a six year old girl who had survived the slaughter by hiding in the reeds around the island. Her name was Ni’ka (Lucy Moore).

The promised storm had not yet arrived here in Lake County, CA so the curving road north was blessedly dry. I hoped the ceremony would be as well–I had no raincoat, no umbrella. I felt sleepy and solemn and spoke to my deities and ancestors as I drove, stating my intentions for participation: “be quiet, be reverent, stay in sacredness, honor the local people.” I asked my ancestors to attend the ceremony with me.

The gathering was on Reclamation Road. Once I turned off Highway 20, I felt like I was driving in Hawai’i again, on one of those rough country roads that require about ten miles an hour, fifteen at most. I arrived in the last darkness before dawn. I parked the car and took out my flashlight. I needn’t have bothered. It wasn’t long before sunrise.

I stood on the cracked asphalt road. Mr. Clayton Duncan, Lucy Moore’s great grandson, was speaking on the microphone.  I knew this because I’d heard him on KPFZ FM. We had never met. When I wasn’t looking at the speakers or singers, I was looking at the oaks on the hillsides and at the small California poppies at my feet. I wondered if I’d see them open.

There were beautiful songs, stories, and a visiting Tibetan woman conducted a healing ritual. I closed my eyes. I wanted so much to sit down, but I stood and probably swayed a bit as I listened. I had a stupid busy mind though and I had to struggle with my tendency to veer off into all sorts of needless trivia. It was better after I closed my eyes. I eventually felt entranced and a little more grounded. There was a moment when I felt my cat, Meowington, around me.

There’s a deep generosity in this ceremony. I think that’s all I can say about it right now. I need to give what happened time to work its way in. However I will also say there was deep generosity in the nourishing breakast provided to us at the gymnasium down the road, and the heart-felt circle of introductions and prayer which preceeded our meal. People had been cooking since long before dawn…

I will go again next year. I feel a lot of gratitude for this experience.

SunriseCeremonyMay18

Meowington, The Temple Cat, Is Dying

60088448_10217637063025595_997261981310255104_n-1On Tuesday, I pulled a weed in my yard, and found this–a baby rattlesnake curled in the warm earth. I placed a flowerpot (no hole in the bottom) over it and tried to find someone to come get it, for relocation. Of course, where there is one baby rattlesnake, there may be others. When the wonderful snake rescue woman arrived that evening, we found that the snake had somehow escaped from beneath the pot which I’d thought was far too heavy for such a little thing to move. We looked around, carefully, but did not find it under any nearby shrubbery or weeds. I hoped it had gone for good.

On Wednesday, as usual, I let Meowington out of Lokabrenna Tiny Temple, where he sleeps during the nights. Days, he wanders the neighborhood and guards my yard against other cats. But he can’t guard it against wildlife. My property backs up against a ridge of oaks and pines and wildness. (We’ve had a mama bear and two cubs wandering the neighborhood this week as well.) Yes, I was worried about rattlesnakes, but he made it through last summer unscathed and so I hoped for the best. I wish now I’d just kept him inside the temple that day.

By early evening I was calling for him, as usual, to come get his dinner. I called and called.

Meanwhile, I fed Grey Girl, the far more feral cat that–along with Meowington and one other–had been left behind on my property last year by a troubled couple who up and moved to Tennessee on short notice. I recall this with some resentment. I already have four indoor cats, and these folks basically dumped three of theirs on me, saying they couldn’t take them and would I feed them and yes they’d send money every month for food. I didn’t count on that money of course. I knew better. But perhaps I should have made them take these three “spare cats” elsewhere? But if I had, I wouldn’t have had the great pleasure of getting to know Meowington.

I called and called some more. And Meowington still didn’t come. I began to worry. And then finally I saw him tottering around the corner of the temple, a cobweb and a leaf stuck to his face. I brushed the leaf away and picked him up. He was shaking, breathing raggedly and hard. He kept trying to meow but couldn’t make a sound. Normally Meowington is an extremely chatty cat. He follows me around when I’m working in the yard. He’s also great at head-butting and adores tummy rubs. He’s also usually anxious for his meal, pushing his nose and mouth into the bowl as I dole out the food. But not on Wednesday evening. He was an entirely different cat, shocky, sick, unable to eat, though he was thirsty. I was worried he’d been bit, but I saw no blood. I set him down on a clean towel and left the temple to get a cat crate. I wasn’t sure who would be open for emergency care, but I was going to get him some.

Had he been bitten? Or had he been bullied by the big black and white cat who occasionally has it in for him? The only other time I’d seen him in something like this condition was after a fight with that cat.

When I returned, Meowington had somehow climbed up to the small storage loft in the rafters where I could not reach him. I tried to coax him down. He wouldn’t come. So I kept the food and water out, and left the temple with forboding, locking him in for the night. I half expected him to be dead in the morning. If was rattlesnake venom, I assumed his death would be quick.

Wrong.

The next morning (yesterday), Meowington was down on the floor again, waiting by the door as he usually does. I was touched that he made this immense effort, though he was still obviously in bad shape. He has always trusted to our routine, to his knowledge that I will always show up in the morning to feed him and let him out. I immediately put him in the cat crate, meaning to whisk him off to the vet at the earliest possible time. Unfortunately, the vet couldn’t see him until 3 PM that afternoon. That was yesterday. I kept him in the crate all day, with food and water, but he only ate a little. I showed up an hour early for our appointment, hoping we could be seen earlier.

When the vet assistant helped him out of the crate. there was a little blood. And when the vet examined him, there was evidence of a bite on his belly, with tissue already going necrotic. The vet explained that a bite on the belly was worrisome–that internal organs may be quickly damaged by the snake’s venom. Still, she gave me reason to hope. Some animals do recover, she said, and she laid out a course of treatment. She did not recommend the antivenin as she said some cats have bad reactions to it. We went for something more conservative (and less expensive): pain medications, antibiotics, laser treatment to improve healing.

I brought Meowington into the house and set him up with towels, food, water, and a litter box, in the shower stall since it was the only small, quiet area away from the other cats. They’ve only interacted with him through the screen door. I didn’t bring him into the household as he is very territorial and I was afraid he’d terrorize the other male cat, Niblet, who has been freaked out for a whole year about the two “extra” cats who joined our post-Hawai’i household. A month or two ago, I had Meowington neutered and got him his shots, in the hopes of finding him a new home–a one cat household where he could be adored and adoring to his fullest potential.

I wish I’d done things differently now. I wish I’d been more aggressive about finding him a new home. I wish I hadn’t let him out of the temple on Wednesday. And I wish yesterday that I’d had the courage to ask the doctor to just put him to sleep.

Because this morning he hasn’t eaten, drunk, eliminated, and he’s clearly suffering. He is lethargic, his breathing is ragged. I’ve been checking on him off and on, ever since I woke up. He wants to stay in the (unused) litter box, not the towel. (He used to love to roll around in the dirt!). I gave him more pain medicine. He vomited it up shortly after. I’ve pet him, stroked him, sang to him, and told him that it was okay to let go–that we’ve loved each other but that now it’s okay… he can go.

60624866_10217650655565400_1623162845187276800_n
Meowington, May 15th, in a final upright and seemingly perky moment. I am sorry, dear friend, we are going to have to part. I love you.

Dammit.

Sometimes I think we give our best love to animals, because they love us so unconditionally. We can give to them (if we give at all), without our stupid human complications getting in the way.

I love Meowington. I procrastinated about giving him up to another home even though I knew I should. I hoped yesterday that he could rally, could beat the venom. It was a selfish hope.

Later this morning, I’ll take him to the vet again–he was supposed to get another laser treatment–and then I’ll let him go.

I’ve asked Freya, Bastet, and Loki for the best possible outcome. I ask them now to ease his passage.

Rest in peace, cat.

60233274_10217650416519424_8920914070433955840_n
Meowington in his glory. Died at the vet’s office in Clearlake, CA shortly before 11 AM, PST. He was an awfully good cat.

 

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Loki and Spam

Okay, I really don’t have a godphone to Loki, like some folks do. Every now and then I get “pings” or even more definite gut-level tugs. I often feel a presence. Once in a while I’ve “heard” a strong message, like “no!” accompanied by unmistakable emotion (like when I mistakenly licked the spoon from His jar of Nutella after vowing never to eat from it). Mostly, though, I use the pendulum and other divination methods to communicate with my deities and guides, including Loki.

Still, I can’t help being amused by the kind of spam this blog gets–and by imagining Loki’s responses. Today, I cleared out “Sex Gals” and a cheap viagra post from the spam cache, and I could imagine Loki looking over my shoulder inquisitively. The rest of this blog is going to read like one of those (often annoying) conversation memes that are spread around social media like cheap mayonnaise.

Loki: “‘Sex Gals?‘ Sounds interesting!”

Me: “To you, maybe. Not to me.” (Proceeds to bulk edit spam cache.)

Loki: “How do you know those spam messages aren’t actually highly significant, divinatory messages from me? Or (snort) from Freyr?”

Me: “Are you really going to make me drag out Freyr’s pendulum too? I can, you know.”

Loki (grins): “Wouldn’t think of putting you through all that trouble!”

Me: (Sigh.)

Loki: “Hey, I saved your life yesterday! Without me making you feel suddenly dizzy and sick, thereby causing you to delay your departure for five minutes while you took out my pendulum to ask if you should drive all the way to the Bay Area to see your youngest son, you might have been the spam in a can in that upturned car three blocks from your house!”

Me: “You’re saying I owe you?”

Loki: (Grins and says nothing.)

Me: “But I already deleted the spam!”

Loki: “Check your other blogs. Check that sexologist one!”

So I dutifully switch to the other blog and take a look at the spam cache.

Me: “Damn. There’s thirteen of these suckers already! You really want me to swing the pendulum for each one of these things?”

Loki: “Yep. Mine first. Then Freyr’s.”

Me: (Exasperated.) “Oh for heaven’s sake!”

Loki: “Asgard. You mean Asgard.”

Me: “I dunno. That really super long twumpian/Christian prophecy spam might beg to differ. It says that the end is nigh.”

Loki: “It’s always ‘nigh.’ Look at Ragnarok for heaven’s sake!”

Me: “LOL! Now you’re doing it!”

Loki: (Sputters.)

Me: (Snickers.)

Loki: “So what else is in your spam cache?”

Me: “The usual. An ad for 500 mg. of amoxicillian is attached to my ‘Men with Smaller Penises’ post. Someone else offers licentious portraits of college girls…”

Loki: “That’s not from me!”

Me: (Dryly.) “I’m relieved.”

Me: “To continue with our spam inventory…CBD oil, something about ‘my nephew’ and ‘my pet’ but it honestly makes no sense, ‘amoxicillin for cats’…say, who makes amoxicillin anyway? Is it Bayer? Because they just bought Monsanto and the stock is DOWN!…(gleeful laughter with an tinge of ‘fuck the world is ending’ hysteria…).

Loki: (Dryly.) “Try to focus, won’t you?”

Me: “Ahem. Sorry. Okay…tech…fleece…RSS feed… There’s not much here except the apocalyptic Christian thing about bitcoin and the sign of the beast. One of yours?”

Loki: (Dryly.) “Use the pendulum to test each one.”

And then I get a bright idea.

Me: “I don’t have to! I just did a bulk pendulum query to ask if any of the spam posts are actually secret messages from either of my two fave gods! And the answer was ‘no!'”

Loki: “Smart ass.”

Me: (Smirking.) “Let’s go play with InspiroBot instead.”

Loki. “Okay.”

So, we play with InspiroBot and this happens:

nqPk5X9QeL

Me: “Are you sure that’s not a licentious portrait of a college girl?”

Loki: “Busted…”

Happy Mother’s Day. The end is nigh.

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